This is the year to be 31 flavors - typical yet delicious Mint Chocolate Chip, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and Rocky Road. Old Fashioned Butter Pecan on my simpler days and a whole bigass bucket of World Class Chocolate when I’m feeling fancy. Rainbow Sherbet if I ever get lucky again and Nutty Coconut after a few too many beers. And definitely some Rock 'n Pop Swirl...whatever the hell that is, I want to be it!
So I've decided that, like Baskin Robbins, I'll be 31 flavors. But what else do Baskin Robbins and I have in common? After painstaking research, here is what I found.
The Top Ten Similarities between Baskin Robbins and the Birthday Girl.
--- 10 Baskin Robbins formed through a partnership of two passionate individuals with dreams of changing the world of ice cream. I formed through a partnership of two semi-passionate individuals who were likely very bored in 1976.
--- 9 Currently, there are more than 5,600 Baskin Robbins locations around the world. Currently, there is only one of me. Efforts at producing the other 5,599 have been postponed until Xerox makes a 5 foot 8 copy machine.
--- 8 Baskin Robbins currently holds the Guinness World Record for the "World's Largest Ice Cream Scoop Pyramid," using 3,100 scoops of ice cream. I currently hold the Guinness World Record for consuming the "World's Largest Ice Cream Scoop Pyramid," resulting in 3,100 stomach pumps.
--- 7 The Baskin Robbins polka dots represent balloons. My polka dots represent acne, some ugly moles, a chicken pock scar, and one weird dimple that surfaces only when I squint.
--- 6 The "31" stands for a different ice cream flavor for each day of the month. My “31” stands for 31 years of forgetting which months have 31 days.
--- 5 Baskin Robbins has created over 1,000 flavors since 1945. I have created over 1,000 flushes since 2005.
--- 4 In the 1960s "Astronut" and "Lunar Cheesecake" were named for the NASA space missions. In 2007, I proposed an ice cream flavor named “Crazy Lady Wearing A Diaper Driving Cross Country.”
--- 3 Gold Medal Ribbon was introduced for the 1980 Olympics. That same year, my dreams of being the first three-year-old to win a gold medal were crushed when Ertaj Gizilbelycz of the Ukraine sabotaged my tricycle.
--- 2 Baskin Robbins founder Burt Baskin owned a 1931 Rolls Royce Phantom II, the world's first 100 mph passenger car. My family owned a riding lawn mower. It went 4 mph. I crashed it into our van.
--- 1 In 1990, Gorba Chocolate was introduced to honor the Soviet Leader and fall of communism. In a show of solidarity, I painted a weird purple squiggly mark on my forehead.
See what I mean? Like parallel lives...
To a year of diversity and growth. Melissa
