I think candidate bumper stickers should self-destruct after a certain period of time. Regardless of how the election turns out you end up looking like an idiot. If your candidate won, you appear to be gloating. Ooh, look at me. I am so cool. I picked a winner. But if your candidate LOST, that’s even worse! Wouldn’t you have the decency to give it up and move on? Sometimes I see stickers for candidates who lost years ago. Have these people no shame?!?
There should also be a system to measure just how long that sticker was on the bumper prior to self destruction - like some carbon-14 method to indicate who was basking in reflected glory. It would be pretty easy to pick the winning candidates and throw out support for them post-election. I suspect there are quite a few “I told you so” stickers out there that carried no actual risk prior to the election. But with carbon-14 bumper sticker dating I'm on to you people!
And sometimes you see stickers for the most insignificant post, like “Elaine Higgins, Library Clerk.” Does anybody care? Does anybody care about councilor, school board, city commissioner, etc? These stickers should self-destruct immediately. Sorry Elaine.
A good bumper sticker would be “Halley 2062.” Just think – it would take years to be out of date, and you’d always be right! That Halley's Comet is pretty reliable. And none of this “I rode Hale Bopp to my next life” crap – this is the real deal. That isn’t to say Hale Bopp didn’t come (because it did), but I’m pretty sure anyone who would have had a Hale Bopp bumper sticker has since passed on in their Nike sneakers and bunk beds. Hale Bopp…wait, am I off track here?
Oh yes, candidate bumper stickers. I think that’s all I have to say about that.
