10. After yet another unsuccessful joke, nobody laughs. And worse, nobody moves.
9. Signs saying “I guess you had to be there” automatically form a backdrop each time you open your mouth.
8. You have a blog called Tales of My Ordinary Life.
7. This year’s Christmas gift from your friends: An Introduction to Miming.
6. Even shampoo ladies, bartenders and other professionals who work for tips can’t be bothered.
5. Your comedic heyday consists of script writing for The Connie Chung Show.
4. Even your best friends don’t think your “I don’t need any more toothbrush technology” bit is funny. Really. Not even at all.
3. Tickle Me Elmo just gave you the finger.
2. You’ve noticed a correlation between your usage of the classic-comedy statement “I’ll be here all week!” and last-minute vacations for friends, family and co-workers.
1. You wonder why everyone has matching fuzzy things in their …hey those are earplugs!
