Alright. Well I’m officially 30. I don’t have anything insightful to post, and I don’t have a list of observations, lessons learned, funny jokes, resolutions, etc. In fact, all I have is two hands, a keyboard, and a very restless mind.
I’ve never been one to care much about age. Yet at the same time, I’ve always said I would peak in my late 20s. I think everyone who wasn’t cool in high school or never won 1st place in a spelling bee says that. So have I peaked? Was that the best me I could be? (For some reason I have the Army “Be. All that you can be.” jingle in my head. Do you think the US Army would be offended that their ____ was just called a jingle? I’m not sure what else to call it. Slogan? Inspirational folk song? I digress…now where was I? Oh yes. Peaking.)
Have I peaked? Am I on the downhill slope? I can’t even ski!
But what if I haven’t peaked and there are better things ahead? What would that look like? Allow me to take a shot:
- I’d be hot. And not just nice looking, like old ladies like me and say “Oh, she is a pretty girl.” I mean smokin’ hot baby! I’d be H.O.T!
- I’d definitely own plates. And I would find the stupid square red plates I’ve been searching for all year. My theme song would change from “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” by U2 to “The Search is Over” by whoever the hell sings that horrible song.
- All my pants would fit perfectly, my eyebrows would self-wax, and I would finally master the art of eating with chopsticks. (I hate you, stupid chopsticks!)
- I’d join MENSA just to have something to talk about during my Best Blog Award acceptance speech.
So yes, peaking. The apex of my life. I’ll be a better me!
If that happens, I’ll be saying goodbye to mopping my floor with shampoo, using rotten fruit and vegetables as a means to prevent identity theft (don’t ask, but think mail and trash), fashion faux pas that could have been prevented if I only owned a full-length mirror, a futile “Operation” I’ve had underway for far too long (no comments please!), and sleeping with a stuffed Snoopy.
Alright. Well I’m officially 30. The Triple X. Whoopiteedoo!
