I have visited 4 hotels on business since October. Here are their stats:
Number with a phone next to the toilet – 3
Number of phone calls so urgent they could only be made from the toilet phone – 0
Number of other times “toilet phone” has made a Tales of My Ordinary Life cameo – 1
Number of other Blogger blogs cool enough to mention the toilet phone – 0
Number with a swimming pool – 3
Number with a strange naked child in the shallow end – 1
Number of seemingly-normal, guitar playing, blog writing adults sharing pool with strange naked child – 1
Number of juniper shampoo bottles in current hotel – 2
Number of times I wondered if homemade gin could be made from juniper shampoo – 7
Number of juniper shampoo and tonics consumed – 0.02
Number of function halls and conference rooms searched in hopes of finding a piano to play – 11
Number of potential piano keys assuming 1 piano per room – 968
Number of potential piano keys I am embarrassed to admit I estimated using very poor mental math - 888
Number of pianos found – 0
Number of piano keys found – 0 (estimated correctly, thank you)
Number of security guards alerted to weird guest with suspicious lurking behavior – TBD
Number of miles traveled en route to hotel - 159
Number of times I avoided a certain-death accident with a STUPID red Ford Explorer through quick thinking – 1
Number of times I may have been served dirt as an unconventional seasoning for my steamed broccoli – 1
Number of hotties who will see me on this unbelievably fabulous hair day - 0
