Dear “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?”,
Were you feeling left out? You know, it’s usually an audio replay of the day – an encounter at work, a witty comment, an insightful discussion. It could be a meaningless internal debate about, say, the hazards of driving a street cleaner while intoxicated. It is song lyrics, questions, pictures, etc. But this? This is a first for you to enter my mind.
And we just spent time together on the drive to work yesterday morning. Wasn’t that enough? I even hummed along to you! Did I make you feel loved? Are you that needy, “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?”
Just to be clear, I didn’t appreciate your company this morning. Since you were an uninvited guest, you could at least come at a reasonable hour. But 4:45 AM is not reasonable! How can I go back to sleep with you just hanging around repeating yourself?
You're not horribe, I suppose, though I prefer other members of the R.E.M family (Orange Crush, Losing My Religion, The One I Love, and Nightswimming). So you’re catchy and cute with roots in Georgia – what’s not to like, you might ask? Well I’ll tell you, buddy -- you’re a noisy song, and quite frankly, I don’t understand you!
We’ve known one another for years, but this is all I have gotten out of you:
What’s the frequency, Kenneth (ok, that’s a giveaway since it’s your name)
Did you (something something)
Uh huh
You are a (something something something something) uh huh
(something something) hesitation
I can’t understand
(something something) violent things
Uh huh
I don’t understand
(something something) expectation
Looking (something something)
Uh huh
Um… What?
If you’re going to interrupt my sleep, can you please be a comprehensible song like Amazing Grace, Son of a Preacher Man, or Stand By Me? You know those are my favorites!
So yeah, “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?”, I’ve been up since 4:45 because of you, and you’ve been in my head ever since. I suppose I should thank you because you provided time for me to shave my legs, get gas, eat breakfast, and buy a delicious iced coffee. But I’m too tired for that.
You are a (something something something something) uh huh
I think I could fill in the blanks for this one.
