A Score and Nine Years

In my 29 years of life, I've thought long and hard about who and what I am. Don't we all?

Here is a list of attributes and an objective look at how I believe I score on them.

SMART 8.0 Knows FDR died in Warm Springs Georgia in 1945, that bees are kept in an apiary, and the US Constitution has 27 amendments... BUT can't count group members correctly if she a member of the group.

POLITICALLY CORRECT 6.5 Withholds inappropriate comments about sensitive topics ... BUT makes them later to select audience who is sure to laugh.

CAPABLE 7.0 Understands Fire=Hot... BUT has trouble fitting shoes back in a shoebox correctly.

CLASSY 5.5 Enjoys good food and good wine...BUT enjoys Taco Bell and a Bud Light.

WELL-READ 2.0 Knows Joseph Heller wrote Catch 22 , John Steinbeck wrote The Grapes of Wrath, and The Jungle is about meatpacking in Chicago ... BUT has read none of these books.

GENEROUS 5.5 Will gladly donate to causes when asked...BUT must be asked via telegraph between 12 am - 2 am on Tuedays.

CONSIDERATE 8.0 Often considers the feelings and desires of others...BUT is less interested if said feelings and desires aren't funny.

INTELLIGENT 7.0 Has a 3-digit IQ...BUT is pretty sure no digit is higher than 1.

GOOD-LOOKING 7.0 Elicits screams of "Yeah, Baby!" from men on the street...BUT only when holding a "Yankees Suck!" sign.

ATHLETIC 5.0 Was MVP on her softball team as a child...BUT misread coach's signal, ran past 3rd, was tagged out, and lost the game as an adult.

GENUINE 7.5 Hates superficial people and conceit...BUT really digs people who are freakin' hot.

HONEST 8.5 Speaks the truth as often as possible...BUT is hoping to score free cable from Comcast.
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OVERALL 77.5/120 Not too shabby!!!