11/26/2008
11/10/2008
Ten-Dencies
Top 10 Reasons I Make a Great Winter Girlfriend
10. I give off an alarming amount of body heat when I sleep. Imagine the savings on your heating bill!
9. I look really cute in a scarf and hat. And snotsicles bring out the blue in my eyes.
8. If you keep those gigantic gloves on, you won’t notice my winterweight when you grab my ass.
7. I don’t ski … or ice skate… or snowboard… or ice fish… or build igloos. I can spend every single minute with you! Yep. Every. Single. Minute.
6. Don't worry, I promise not to stick my tongue to a metal pole this year. (Those dancers can be sooo uptight!)
5. If your friends make fun of my goofy walk, you can blame it on the icy streets.
4. I appreciate that nothing warms and comforts your sweet little soul like a nice cup of hot cocoa. Wait, how about a big ol’ shot a’ whiskey instead?
3. Um, yes, I am free on New Years.
2. In the warm glow of a romantic fire, you might not notice I’m wearing a toupee.
1. My winter-dry skin = your chance to rub in the lotion!
10. I give off an alarming amount of body heat when I sleep. Imagine the savings on your heating bill!
9. I look really cute in a scarf and hat. And snotsicles bring out the blue in my eyes.
8. If you keep those gigantic gloves on, you won’t notice my winterweight when you grab my ass.
7. I don’t ski … or ice skate… or snowboard… or ice fish… or build igloos. I can spend every single minute with you! Yep. Every. Single. Minute.
6. Don't worry, I promise not to stick my tongue to a metal pole this year. (Those dancers can be sooo uptight!)
5. If your friends make fun of my goofy walk, you can blame it on the icy streets.
4. I appreciate that nothing warms and comforts your sweet little soul like a nice cup of hot cocoa. Wait, how about a big ol’ shot a’ whiskey instead?
3. Um, yes, I am free on New Years.
2. In the warm glow of a romantic fire, you might not notice I’m wearing a toupee.
1. My winter-dry skin = your chance to rub in the lotion!
11/07/2008
It's Friday Quiz Time!!!
Today’s Question - What happened to the rest of the mini Mounds bars?
A: remain in “WTF” formation to the left of the question mark
B: donated to the less fortunate … who then passed them off to teachers, fathers, librarians and grandparents
C: ran off to raise hell about Almond Joy getting all the nuts
D: confiscated by angry, washed up singer who can't accept that only Peter and Paul made the wrapper
E: frozen and used as hockey puck for geometrically-challenged hockey team
F: unwrapped, shellacked, and strung to make aesthetically pleasing house arrest anklet
G: used as shoes for Mr. Potato Head who insists blue is not his color
H: none of the above (and none of your damn business!)
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