Ten-Dencies

Top 10 Reasons I Make a Great Winter Girlfriend

10. I give off an alarming amount of body heat when I sleep. Imagine the savings on your heating bill!

9. I look really cute in a scarf and hat. And snotsicles bring out the blue in my eyes.

8. If you keep those gigantic gloves on, you won’t notice my winterweight when you grab my ass.

7. I don’t ski … or ice skate… or snowboard… or ice fish… or build igloos. I can spend every single minute with you! Yep. Every. Single. Minute.

6. Don't worry, I promise not to stick my tongue to a metal pole this year. (Those dancers can be sooo uptight!)

5. If your friends make fun of my goofy walk, you can blame it on the icy streets.

4. I appreciate that nothing warms and comforts your sweet little soul like a nice cup of hot cocoa. Wait, how about a big ol’ shot a’ whiskey instead?

3. Um, yes, I am free on New Years.

2. In the warm glow of a romantic fire, you might not notice I’m wearing a toupee.

1. My winter-dry skin = your chance to rub in the lotion!