In honor of Columbus Day, here is a discovery about me – I’m not that bright. Wanna see why?
- Two years ago my family rented a condo in Florida, and I went for a run along the beach in the morning. On the way back I had NO IDEA which condo was ours and overshot it by quite a bit. A few hours later a sunburned - and very tired - Melissa finally found her way back to the condo... like a lost puppy in a sports bra.
- The parking lot at work is quite large, but I always park in the same area. Last week I walked right past my car two days in a row – yes alone, yes solely focused on finding my car, yes in the same location as always.
- I need to return a friend's sweatshirt, so I packed it in a bag and set it aside. Today as I was cleaning I saw the sweatshirt staring me in the face from the top of my dresser. What the hell? So I retrieved the bag. And you what was in there? My sweatshirt.
- No matter how badly it will burn me, I never, ever allow toast to cool sufficiently before grabbing it and attempting to spread peanut butter.
- No matter how hard I try, my ponytail is never, ever in the center of my head. It’s always a little to the left.
- Yesterday I bought tomatoes. I don’t make tomato sauce and have nothing that could come close to making a sandwich or salad. What I’m planning to do with said tomatoes is beyond me. But there they are.
- I’m slightly obsessed with My Big Redneck Wedding… and some of those weddings don’t seem too shabby!
- A few weeks ago I ordered a pumpkin beer at a local bar. Although I LOVE pumpkin beer, this brand tasted like a flea collar. Last week I went to the liquor store to buy pumpkin beer. Any guesses which brand I bought?
So yeah, if I were Columbus I probably wouldn’t have found India either. (But I'm pretty sure I could have come up with cooler names for my ships!)
Happy Columbus Day! I hope you don’t have to work. (I do, damnit, but maybe you don’t…)
