BO

Yesterday I had BO. Or, well, I thought I had BO. See, this was that mystery phantom BO with no identifiable source. What the hell? I tried to locate it. I sniffed myself, I sniffed the air, I sniffed Brooke, I sniffed strangers, airport terminals, shoe shine men (I'm totally asking them to shine my flip flops next time), suspicious passengers, you name it. Nothin'.

And finally, after many, many hours of sniffing, I discovered the source of the BO.

And here it is:


Yes, that's right. It's the Trident Tropical Twist pack of gum I was carrying in my backpack. And trust me, if this doesn't smell like BO I don't know what does! Seriously. This shit stinks. Stupid crappy BO gum.

At least now I know why the security guards turned me down when I volunteered for the full body search.