Uniform Bananas

Is it just me or is there only one kind of banana out there? No matter where you go, it’s just…a banana. But the produce department is filled with varieties of apples, oranges, pears, grapes, even avocados. How could some fruit just be that fruit? Why is there no banana diversity?

Some could argue that the little finger-sized bananas qualify, but they’re stupid. And we all know they’re just bananas raised near power lines or amid nuclear fallout, so I’m disregarding those mutants. And plantains? Ok, sure, those are great when fried and served with beans and rice. I’d consider those in the banana family but not a variety of banana. If you’re out of bananas for your morning bowl of Wheaties, I doubt you can substitute with plantains. The 187 varieties of apples however? Nearly interchangeable. What’s up with that?

Now, I’m not bananologist, so I could be totally wrong. And I probably am. But it just seems to me that no matter what, yep, it’s still just ... a banana.