A while ago I read a children’s book called Your Personal Penguin. It’s super sweet and honestly brought a tear to my eye. It’s about this cute little penguin who wants nothing more than to be his hippo buddy’s best friend, his Personal Penguin. He follows the hippo around and absolutely adores him. If that isn’t enough, the last word of the book is “Please?”, a clear indicator of the little guy's sincerity.
Here’s an excerpt:
Now, lots of other penguins seem to be fine
in a universe of nothing but ice.
But if I could be yours, and you could be mine,
Our cozy little world would be twice as nice.
I want to be your Personal Penguin.
Sweet huh? So as a thank you and expression of my friendship and love, I’d like to offer myself as your Personal Penguin. And I mean that sincerely.
And as your Personal Penguin, here’s what I can offer:
-- If you need someone to talk to, I can go out and try to find someone.
-- If you’re feeling unattractive, I can hit on you and assure you that, yes, I’d do you.
-- If you’re feeling sad, I can cheer you up by putting on a juggling show. Except, well, I can’t actually juggle, so it might be more of a “no really, I was just juggling so fast you didn’t see them moving” show.
-- If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I can calm you by playing guitar and piano for you. For hours. Loudly. And I can sing too. Really intense lyrics. Loudly.-- If you’re hungry, I can put the money I stole back in your wallet so you can buy us a pizza.
-- If you’re feeling uninspired, I can teach you great things. I can tell you about the time I was supposed to meet someone walking counter-clockwise around the pond. That's when I learned that two people walking counter-clockwise are extremely unlikely to come face to face.
-- If you’re having trouble finding a job, I can inform you that, well, perhaps it’s because you always have a penguin at your side on your job interviews.
So…any takers?
