I recently joined Facebook and have quickly become quite fond of it. I began connecting with acquaintances from high school almost immediately. Yes, that’s right. High school. As in early-1990s-moved-away-from-home-since-graduation-small-town-Florida-high school. I haven’t really kept up with anyone recently.
It’s interesting to see what everyone is up to and see pictures and hear stories of how their lives have turned out. I enjoy this part. I enjoy sharing about my own life too. And of course there’s a link to my blog through Facebook and I welcome the readership. Consequently though, I have a new category of blog readers: high school friends.
So to any of my high school friends – welcome!
(To everyone else – Psst ... here’s the thing. I’ve got to pretend I’m cool. I’ve got to pretend I’ve made it BIG and am hot and smart and successful and in a happy relationship and totally living the life. So that means there will be NO MORE ramblings about a string of failed relationships, general boredom, slutty hookups, overeating, underperforming, underdoing my hair, nothing. Got it? Sorry…please don’t judge.)
Ahem…anyway, where was I?
Oh yes, high school friends - WELCOME! LET ME FILL YOU IN ON THE LAST 14 YEARS! HOLY CRAP HAVE THINGS BEEN A’ ROCKIN! I mean like TOTALLY awesome!!!
Remember how in high school when I was a total fat ass? Well no more sisters! I recently ran a marathon, have become an underwear model, and was just crowned Ms. Massachusetts!
And remember in Mr. Mont ’s honors American History class when I sat on the floor and didn’t pay attention to a damn thing? “No thanks Mr. Mont , I won’t be applying to the Electoral College, but I did visit and found the campus to be most pleasant.” I’ve totally changed my tune. Did I tell you about that book I wrote? It covers everything from Jamestown to Manifest Destiny to Reconstruction to Little Boy and Fat Man to the Iraq war. And I wrote it all with my toes!
And remember how I didn’t actually DO anything? Well boy oh boy am I busy! I don’t have a spare minute in my day between the PTA meetings (and I don’t even have kids!), feeding the homeless, building solar panels, composting anything and everything I can find, and training teams for the Special Olympics. My life is so filled with meaning now and I am sooo happy!
And remember how I worked at Subway? And when I dressed up as a sandwich? Pretty loser huh! Well let me tell you about company I founded. Perhaps you’ve heard of it – it’s called Google? I like to keep my name on the DL, so you probably haven’t heard much about my involvement. But let me tell you… it’s been critical!
And remember when I couldn’t get a date to save my life? My my my has that changed! In fact I’ve got one RIGHT now! She’s picking me up ASAP!
So… gotta run. More on my sweet ass life soon!!!
(Psst ... to everyone else, I’m free for a game of Scrabble tonight if you're around...)
