Sometimes different occasions call for different walks. Here are some of them:
The "No really, I’ve been this far ahead the whole time" – He’s five feet in front of you. He opens the door, goes casually through the doorway, lets the door slam in your face, and suddenly RACES away like there’s no tomorrow. Poof! A superspeed departure. Well of course he couldn’t hold the door -- look how far away he is! And there you have it, the "No really, I’ve been this far ahead the whole time."
The "Is it safe?" – You know this one. The prospective fartor appears to be walking steadily, facing straight ahead. Then…ever so slightly…the head turns to the left. To the common observer this is of no use, but trained eyes know this motion serves a purpose - to detect the presence of another individual nearby. In other words, "Is it safe?"
The "Let me check myself out" – Reflective glass can be very dangerous. You may appear to be looking at the person next to you, but you give yourself away when the person next to you is, well, no longer next to you. Yet you’re still staring at reflective glass. Hence the "Let me check myself out."
The "Step aside please - I am sooo in a hurry" – If you just looked at the top half, it might look like someone was actually in a rush. But the bottom half gives it all away. Frantically swinging arms, a frenzied expression, and the ole lean-forward don’t do crap unless there’s a concerted physical effort toward increasing speed. So if the legs aren’t on board and are just moseying along, you’ve got yourself a case of "Step aside please - I am sooo in a hurry."
The "OMG! I can’t believe one just slipped out" – Not to be confused with the "Is it safe?" the OMG occurs when something escapes without warning, and you’re not sure what the consequences may be. You gotta get out of there! This is often characterized by crocodilian zigzag motion and suddenly ducking behind fake plants. Yep, the all too familiar "OMG I can’t believe one just slipped out."
