8/21/2007

Heart Healthy Tips

There is a certain beauty to the taco salad bowl. It’s deliciously light and crispy, and I’m pretty sure that if you eat enough of them you get a free angioplasty. So since they’re so dangerously delectable, here are some tips to eliminating or minimizing your taco salad bowl (henceforth, the “TSB”) intake.

First, the best thing is to avoid eating any TSB. In all possible cases, keep this as your goal. One option is to request your salad sans bowl (TS-B), but then you’d be eating taco salad off the table - and that is never a good look. Instead, control yourself. Don’t take that first bite. Don’t … give…in - once you do it’s all downhill. Remember, abstinence is the best policy. Oh wait, that’s honesty… whatever, abstinence is the only foolproof way to prevent TSB intake.

Second, don’t trick yourself with that whole “Oh, let me stab this piece of “chicken” … oh oops hey look there’s TSB on my fork!” thing. You know it isn’t chicken under that piece of lettuce, so don’t bother pretending! Don’t play games with TSB. TSB will always win.

Third, don’t allow delicious sour cream and guacamole to make contact with the TSB. This combination is too yummy and powerful to ignore. There is an unspoken international law that you must consume all affected parts of the TSB should these forces meet.

Fourth, in the event that you do give in to TSB temptation, break a small piece off and discard the remaining contraband. Don’t kid yourself by tearing off a piece the size of a large index card under the guise of eating a piece the size of a Post-It note. It won’t work. Repeat after me - TSB is like kryptonite.

Finally, when all else fails, make a clean break. Just take a deep breath, admit there are some things around which you are powerless, and take a step back. Step away from the bowl. Senora, put the fork down and step away from the bowl.

Your heart will thank you.