Position overview – Since the founder of Tales of My Ordinary Life is suffering a lack of creativity and insight, a Ghost Writer is needed for the maintenance of her beloved blog. The Ghost Writer will focus solely on blog content and will aim to delight readers and increase circulation in FY2007. The Ghost Writer will take ownership to seamlessly integrate his/her posts within existing content in a manner that is both undetectable and entertaining.
Responsibilities –
- Assist with ongoing projects as needed and in the absence of project leader
- Produce insightful commentary on a variety of topics and upload content regularly using online tools
- Incorporate themes into posts and synthesize writing to create content that is both intellectually brilliant and astoundingly witty. Make frequent references to the nationality of your forbearers on an ongoing basis.
- Utilize creativity to optimize blog experience for readers. Add stupid hyperlinks to posts. Be prepared to accept the fact that, although they are quite humorous and you often laugh while selecting them, very few will click on hyperlinks. Almost none will laugh.
- Select random pictures from the internet that Al Gore invented. Modify pictures using PowerPoint and other technology. Create enhancements such as the Corporate Ass Chair to facilitate learning and a deeper understanding of your ideas.
- Analyze feedback from readers and interpret behavior accordingly. Interpret comments such as, “I didn’t laugh once” to mean “That is the funniest thing I ever read!” or “You’re an idiot” to mean “I love you but just don’t have the courage to tell you.”
Required traits -
Sense of humor
Creativity
Strong work ethic
Real good English
Desired traits -
Of Polish background (familiarity with pierogies will also be considered)
Irritable and cranky
Ability to identify areas of opportunity and bring current ideas, such as how people posing James Dean-style against a wall trying to look cool totally ruined it for people who really just need to lean against a wall like that to fruition
Appreciation for Oreos
Willingness to persevere in the face of adversity…or when you know nobody clicks on hyperlinks
Previous experience driving behind stupid people
Strong writing skills…or, well, just not abysmal
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Please note: This is a temporary position.
Salary: zilcho
Benefits: nada
