Have you noticed your pants getting shorter…yet you’re not getting taller?
Does the indentation in your favorite easy chair look like a Rorschach test?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you might be suffering from Corporate Ass Syndrome. Corporate Ass Syndrome (or CAS) affects millions of Americans each year. CAS results from spending long hours in an office chair - with few interruptions other than bathroom breaks, walks to meetings, surprise birthday parties for co-workers you never would have talked to in high school, and visits to cubicles of neighbors who always have good snacks.
CAS is characterized by the following:
1. A noticeable widening and flattening of the ass
2. Loss of firmness and shape
3. The sudden presence of severe underbutt
But there may be help.
To combat the effects of Corporate Ass Syndrome, we recommend using the ACASAC, the Anti-Corporate Ass Syndrome Assless Chair. Picture your typical office chair:
The ACASAC works like this: unlike a typical office chair, the ACASAC requires the user to do all the work. By incorporating state-of-the-art ass support out of the chairtm technology, the ACASAC works butt muscles during long hours when they would otherwise be relaxed. The result is a firm, shapely, irresistible booty!
Don't let long hours in the office get you down. Say goodbye to Corporate Ass Syndrome for good with the ACASAC!
To purchase your very own ACASAC, call 1800-NO-CAS4U today.
Disclaimer: Not to be used as flotation device.
