I would like to perform three scientific experiments in my home and need help with planning, execution, and analysis. So I am seeking a Research Assistant for the following:
Project 1 The Cap
Background: Since I don’t own a drain stopper, anything small that slips out of my hinds and into my bathroom sink is a lost cause. A few weeks ago I dropped my toothpaste cap…but this little booger didn’t make it all the way down. So now it’s stuck in some sort of drainage purgatory – close enough that I can see it, yet too far away to reach with any household item.
Research Question: Will a toothpaste cap biodegrade? And if so how long will it take?
Project 2 The Eggs
Background: I buy way too many eggs. For some reason I am convinced I will eat a dozen giant, big-assed eggs before they expire. But alas, the 10 eggs currently hogging the top shelf of my refrigerator expired on February 11, exactly 1 month ago.
Research Question: Will rotten eggs eventually become rotten chickens?
Project 3 The Rabbit (no, not that rabbit!)
Background: I think they’re taking over. They show up in corners, along baseboards, atop books I never read – they are the dreaded dust bunnies. In 2007 my home maintenance has been a little sporadic, so these little guys are getting bigger by the day. And I think they might be up to something.
Research Question: Are the dust bunnies in my house planning a coup to kick the Easter Bunny’s ass?
Must also assist with ongoing sociological projects:
1. Folk music in the ghetto: Is this why my neighbors hate me?2. Cheap blinds in my bedroom: Exactly who has seen me naked?
