Running Wild

After an extended hiatus, I’ve recently started running again. Here are some thoughts I have while doing so:

- That’s odd. There is a giant, unshapely dark patch of grass over there …oh wait, that’s my shadow.

- Hmm…looks like I missed a spot shaving.

- Left, left, left, right, left. Left, left, left, wait, where was I?

- Ok, once I round this corner I can stop and hyperventilate. I’ll be out of view from anyone who just saw me running.

- Running helps me concentr…hey look, a bunny!

- It’s been 17 minutes -- how many Oreos have I burned off?

- “Da, da, da, da, da, da, da…Ice Ice Baby. Vanilla. Ice Ice Baby...”

- I never cared for pork chops. I just never liked them.

- “Run, Forrest! Run!”

- Did I forget to add fabric softener to my laundry again?

- Just to clarify: nobody is, in fact, chasing me. Correct?

- Nope, that isn’t a turtle either.